i just almost missed my train because i was taking a personality quiz to find out what fruit I am

2 days ago // 74,646 notes


the fact that there are no leaked nudes on my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people

2 days ago // 173,621 notes


when youre laying down and your pet walks across your internal organs and youre like OW FUCK and they dont even care they just keep standing on your spleen like its their job

2 days ago // 282,751 notes


me when i look in the mirror?

2 days ago // 3,718 notes


I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have anymore food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment

2 days ago // 221,736 notes
  • friend who lives hundreds of miles away: i made food
  • me: can i have some

2 days ago // 344,099 notes
  • me: i am actually so happy with my life right now for once
  • next day: *everything fucks up*

4 days ago // 178,736 notes




Next older person to complain about millennials has to pay off a random 20-something’s student loans

Or get them a job in their preferred field

Both for a repeat offender

4 days ago // 34,374 notes